Thoughts

I think i hate people and what they have done.
I have major trust issues.
I look around at the world and i hate what has happened.
I hate people
I hate people i dont even know
 I hate them because they have the nerve to smile at me
I hate them because they are happier than me
I hate them because my life will never be that perfect
I will never have the happiness i see them with
My life is falling apart and for once its not my fault

I feel like i don't belong any where any more
Financially my world has fallen to shit
My friends and family have started to drift away
I feel although they only want to know me when they want something or i have to be the one who makes the effort i never get a call to just ask how i am.

I'm that friend that you will say is your friend but you never fucking make an effort all of this hurts even more because i live in an area where i know fucking no one, the only people i know are the people i live with, the friends i do have left i feel are friends with me out of obligation rather then because they want to. The only friend i do have lives in the city and well he works full time 2 jobs and the time we spends together we drink so its not really a proactive friendship.

Ive lost everything i have but gained a wonderful partner and great in-laws. I'm having a emo post because shit is so fucked up in my head and i dont really understand how it all went so wrong.

But at the end of the day all that matters is that i have Husbandface and i have Spawn and we have a roof over our heads even if it means that we have no money at all and cant afford Christmas :(

Things i love

I'm loving a lot of things in life, from moonlight to the smell of coffee to the shopping centre music, to the song I’ve got on repeat right now.

I rarely use the word love on this blog, in fact I am pretty sure i use the word hate more often, hate comes out of my mouth more often than the word love. 

Today i am writing a love list, I figure this blog needs a little lovin up. 

I am not going to name names, but consider this your big warm fuzzy hug from me. Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. Friends are like potatoes you eat them and they die. 

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT Y'ALL!

You encourage me to do my best without hesitation.

You know the exact moment to say the exact best dry, witty thing to make me smile.

You tell people that it's a lovely day every single day.

You forgive my anger.

Your eyes shine like the stars when you tell stories.

You have the biggest heart I have ever seen

You talk with your hands, but its okay its a wog thing and I understand.

I love the way you blush and go quiet when people say kind things to you.

And the way it's difficult for you to accept compliments.

Your wisdom is far greater than your years.

You got up and danced anyway, and you did it with a smile.

You get my jokes. No matter how stupid they are. Or how much i fuck up the punch-line

I love your giant dreams and your inability to downsize them.

You listen better than anyone else I know, and i know my thoughts are safe with you.

You go out of your way to make others feel at ease.

Your insane, unhinged laugh is the highlight of ANY day.

You aren’t afraid to say you don’t know.

You laugh until you cry.

You are always there for me, through thick and thin.

Your patience and understanding.

Your Reliableness .

Your pleasant surprises.

You take me as one of the boys.

And how you indulge my silliness.

Your belief in me.

The fact we love the same style in clothes and shoes.

Your thoughtfulness.

Your limitless generosity.

You can fix absolutely anything. Handiest person ever.