Well I haven't written in here for a while and maybe i should have because I've been bottling so much up :(
I really cant take bottling up any more so i vow i will ATTEMPT to try and make time to write in here at least every second day because its affecting my relationship with Matt, and its making us hate each other and thats the last thing in the world that i ever wanted ..
Have you ever reached a point in your life where you realized nothing is as it was, and you will never be what you wanted to be because you chose one path instead of another. ?
Im there and it sucks I'm battling an enteral war with myself, i am a goal focused person I love having a plan, I hate stress but i thrive on it, i work best under chaos but i don't work well when my anxiety hits the roof, i don't work well when I'm depressed, i don't cope well when i spend the night crying.
Im trying to remember that "this too shall pass" that has worked for everything else but it isn't working right now. I need you more than ever before and i need you to know that Im not giving up or giving in, I'm struggling to move forward though, Im scared of where I'm going, but i know if you just hold my hand we will see the sun rise and we will be alright.
